Dear future self-
sigh
google said this would help
it’s not like I’ve got the virus
anyway,
I’d like to say
but it probably
wouldn’t matter-
I left the house today
I forgot my mask
turning back,
past immortal crunches
of fallen leaves,
shed by naked trees
Or were they just memories
from months ago?
I, too, am wilted dry
from my cell inside
of endless light
where I spend every night
(not that I want sleep,
every dream I have ends with defeat)
where I sit and watch
granular visions of a hundred days
where I lie and hear
the same cracked sparrow song
projected on my white walls.
Dear future self-
I don’t know what you expect.
My instagram feed is
so monotonous
selfies on snapchat of
socially distanced picnics
Oh, did I tell you there was another update?
Eyes adjust to shifting squares
like we sank, no, slid
into a global pandemic
coffee cups
in rainbow mugs
I just want a hug.
Empty outsides when the course clouds rain
on my window pane
I watch from glass.
all I did today
was watch dark clouds disintegrate.
I felt the water
circle down the drain.
Swipe up. Refresh.
Sipping cider in the park
and dancing in unsettled dust. Again.
Focus on myself, Google said-
workout brings endorphins, but
first I need to get out of bed.
Stop living in my head
Dear future self-
Is this animation
what I leave,
under fallen leaves
as a time capsule?
At least then, it has a chance to survive.
AJM Writes 